By being silly, I deal with certain situations and pain. In this case, I will share with you all the rules of dealing with unrequited love. Trust me. I'm an expert. These rules help you to maintain your sanity when watching the one you like not return the feelings. At least they are the results of all the times I've had to deal with it, which is basically the story of my life when it comes to romance.
Just as a disclaimer and so no one shoots me down, I have had a boyfriend. That was back in high school. I don't really count this last incident cause it was way too short to even remotely resemble a real relationship. I have only turned down a guy once, again in high school. (Actually one of the biggest regrets within my story of "lurve," but that's another tale...) Thus, the majority of my experiences with love have been unrequited.
And so, I shall list the rules that I found were the most beneficial to me in hopes that others may benefit from them.
Okay, okay. I'm bored, silly, and don't know how else to deal with this crap save turn it all into an odd joke, but, heck, it makes me feel better...and I'm having fun with it!!! :D
Moving on...
Oh, yea, and fyi: these are directed towards girls...sorry, boys! No advice for you...save that this might give you insight into the mind of one very strange girlie! ^_^ But please correct or comment if you think I'm totally off base, okay la?
Here I go!
Guide #1: Avoidance. This only works if you don't want to even be friends with them or if you hope they like you and want to play hard to get in hopes they'll become interested. If you don't want to be friends with them, then you've really got to evaluate why you like them. Shouldn't relationships start with friendship anyway? Sure, it may hurt, but it's better than not being near them. And if you are playing hard to get, just don't play games. It may sound attractive and fun, but if they're gonna like you, they're gonna like you whether you play hard to get or not. Just be yourself!
Guide #2: Keeping your mind in the right place. This is one of the hard parts. It is really easy to try to rationalize why they don't like you romantically. You may think you aren't attractive/pretty enough or that you're too girlie or too boyish. Don't think too hard!! It could be that they just don't see you in that light. And you know what? That's okay! That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you! They may very well find you extremely attractive. They just aren't attracted to you in the romantic sense. Okay la? Don't get down on yourself. It only makes you hurt more and doesn't improve the situation. It's a waste of energy and time. True, it's hard, but just keep reminding thyself to not over think every little detail.
Guide #3: Tears. It's okay to shed those. Really. It is. If it makes you feel better, go for it! It absolutely does hurt, so don't pretend that it doesn't! So, go ahead and have a good cry or two. Alone or with your girl friends, whichever suites your fancy the best. Just don't over do it. Don't waste too much of your precious self over this guy, because obviously he's not agonizing over/longing after you. Don't give away too much of yourself before it is asked for, because when the right guy does finally show up, you'll have less to give to him.
Guide #4: Keeping your heart in the right place. This is the final and hardest guideline I have to offer you all. This takes a lot of practice, too. A lot of experimentation before the balance is found. The point is not to deny your feelings. That only causes coldness and a lock to be placed on your heart. Then it rusts and it's harder to open up when you finally want to. So, while not denying the feelings you have, you must not run away with them. It's the idea of "hoping for the best, expecting the worst" rationale. It is keeping the door open while not focusing all your attention on whether or not he's gonna walk through it. Enjoy the friendship. Enjoy being with him and spending time. Make beautiful memories. That way, you aren't wasting your time worrying about a relationship when you could be enjoying their company. The worst thing that could happen is that you get an amazing friend out of it. Absolutely it hurts. But, it's not like you have any choice in the matter of a relationship possibility when it's not a mutual attraction. Thus, your only choice is in your attitude. Learn to be content with the good over the best in the matters of your heart. Learn to accept it and smile. This is the key to dealing with unrequited love.
That's about it, folks! So, what did ya'll think of my ideas? I don't think they'll work for everybody because everybody's obviously different, but maybe it'll help some of you.
Walk with the King and be a Blessing (^_^)/
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