Of Faith and Patience and Stuff

Over the last two years, God had really shown me what faith is. I now understand that it is holding on and trusting when you have no idea what is going on or why you are even holding on anymore. Faith is "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see." (Hebrews? something? I suck at references. I'm not even sure if that is an exact quote. It's been a while since that year of Bible quizzing and I'm feeling really lazy right now so I'm not going to look it up. I know, lame.) This quote points to waiting and being patient.

Patience. That is one thing I have always lacked. Even when waiting for the dumb light to change when I'm crossing the street. Waiting for school to get over. Waiting for my sister to show up to hang out. Waiting for someone to flip my ring around. (My ring is an Irish colada ring...) Although, that last one is more of a wish rather than an expectation.

As we wait through faith for certain things to happen or be revealed, we have no choice but sit. We (typically) don't know what will happen or what God's will is, His plan. Our only choice is found in our attitude toward the waiting. We can either be anxious and frustrated or we can chill and trust God. But, if we are anxious, are we still trusting? If we are living our faith and leaning on God's will and plan, will we not freak out anymore? Are we always going to be content and patient? Absolutely not! (I feel like Paul here...) This is were the paradox lies. Faith is holding on when we are freaking and patience is waiting for God's timing and/or answer with confidence.

So...we are confidently freaking? Maybe?

I know I probably sound really idiotic in this posting, but it was fun to think through while I am personally struggling with not knowing the future plans my Daddy has for me (both the near future and the distant). It can be quite annoying sometimes, the not knowing.

Another quick note is that sometimes God answers your prayers with a "yes" and a sigh. He allows you to have your desire, even if He knows it's not the best for you. It'll bring you more pain. In my case, I really wanted to know something. Now that I found that something out, it's hurting more now than beforehand. Makes me want to tell God that I've changed my mind. He really does know best and will let you experience things and learn things when you are ready for them. The more I learn about God and life and stuff, the more I realize how utterly foolish I am and how wise the King is. Why don't I just let Him control? That's what I should be doing anyway. Paul said it very well in Romans: "I do not understand what I do." Yup. That's me!

Okay, I'll stop my ramblings. I hope I made a little bit of sense today.

Walk with the King and be a Blessing! (^_^)/