Where I am and Where I am Not

It has been nearly a year since I last posted here. It is probably because of a combination of life's business and curve-balls, with a dash of laziness . . . Okay, maybe more than a dash. Perhaps more like a tablespoon.

Regardless of why I never wrote, I suddenly felt compelled to this week. I had actually wanted to on Tuesday, but couldn't/didn't due to some other circumstances that I'll get to later.

Anyway, on to my usual ramblings.

This time last year I was spending my first week in Taiwan.

Learning, exploring, adventuring, soaking in the beauty of the country and the people. I often feel like Bella from Twilight when she says, "I'll miss the heat." Well, I miss the heat of Taiwan. It just made it so different from anywhere else I'd been. Almost magical, another world. Like the plane had taken me a few lightyears away to a tiny lush, mountain-filled dimension whose people, culture, flowers, and rain would capture my heart in a way I never thought possible.

I just finished watching a video posted on facebook that had some of my friends and acquaintances from Taiwan in it. They were doing outreaches in beautiful areas of the country. I had to restrain myself from going to cheapoair.com and booking a flight back right now.

But wait! These are my last two semesters in school. Since I'm accelerating through the summer I'll be done in December and then back in Taiwan in late winter/early spring. At least for a quick visit.

Right?

Wrong.

Instead of being in Big Rapids right now, in my apartment, studying away, I am in St. Joe, sitting on my couch, ill. My parents are starting to encourage me to drop out of the summer semester, so as not to push myself and risk relapsing. I know this is the smartest move but it is definitely not what I wanted.

Here's what happened.

Just this last Tuesday as I was driving home from my clinical in Grand Rapids, I cried. I screamed out, selfishly wanting to be on the other side of the world but stuck in tiny-town Michigan, finishing a degree I don't remember why I'm taking, feeling tired, and with the worst sore throat I had ever had in my life. I was going to write it all out that night here in a post. Just get it all off my chest and in the open. But, God had other plans for me.

My boyfriend found me on my couch in a weakened state and forced me to the hospital. There, the diagnosis came back: mono.

What am I supposed to do with this? I am starting to go crazy. I miss Taiwan so much, I cannot even express it correctly. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about its mountains

- so green and breath-taking, its people - so courteous and beautiful, its sun - so strong and warm, its food and drink - so tasty and addictin

g. I could go on and on. My friends whom I miss with all that is in me. I'd list them but it would be endless. How I wish to see them, talk to them, hug them, walk the night market with them, show them that I have not forgotten and still love them with all my heart.

HOW I MISS IT ALL!!!!!!

I get the feeling that whenever I talk about Taiwan, people think, "Can she just shut up about Taiwan? Seriously, she was only there for 2 months!" Or something along those lines. But I can't help it. I can't help but talk about it. My mined is constantly filled with thoughts of that country. My boyfriend is the only one who loves to hear me talk about it. He is a true God-send. Have no idea what I'd do without him.

Before going to Taiwan, I never thought I'd say that I would fall in love with a country, but I have. An island on the other side of the world.

Wait for me. I don't know when I can come back to you, but I will. 我答應你們。我会回来。我愛臺灣。我愛你們。